Blog #5 Dissecting the Concept of Health - Challenging what we “should” do to get Healthy

Picture in front of you an image of a healthy person. What do you see? Do you see someone you know? Does that person have a particular “vibe”? Do they fit into certain health and wellness stereotypes—lean, muscular, good-looking? Are they of a certain height? Body type? What emotions are they displaying? Lastly, does this image inspire you Do you feel Joy? Content? Or do you feel jealous? Guilty? Ashamed? Sad?

A lot of us are constantly being bombarded by ideas of what health is supposed to be. We go through daily life being inundated by expectations and ideals—we are told what we should do, and how we should do it. The people around us—from family members to friends to strangers, even therapists (after all I’m talking about health and attempting to give you another narrative to follow)—all speak with confidence about how to conduct ourselves. Whatever happens, we either feel like we haven’t done enough or simply feel “not good enough”.

Health as a Concept

A quick search on the internet yields a dictionary definition of “Health” as: 

"1. The condition of being sound in body, mind, or spirit, especially freedom from physical disease or pain.

2. A condition in which someone or something is thriving or doing well."

Merriam-Webster, 2024. 

Arguably, these are pretty general definitions of the word. They neither tell us how to relate to it, nor achieve it. On the other hand, we might find people on the internet who claim they have the answer—from motivational speakers to entrepreneur bros, fitness influencers, spiritual gurus, and traveling vloggers. They either shame us into altering our behavior or promise our struggle will end once we try to follow a new lifestyle. However, more often than not, we will be disappointed after finding out the fix is temporary at best. If health isn’t necessarily a fit body, a socially admirable lifestyle, or perpetual carefree happiness, how do we quantify this concept? 

Finding Health

Story #1:

Janet is a 28-year-old marketing director living in Kansas City, Missouri. Growing up, her parents had emphasized the importance of financial stability and social standing. She works 60 hours a week in a highly competitive environment. Although she receives a decent salary, she barely has time for herself and her relationship. On top of that, she has grown tired of the casual sexist remarks from male colleagues, as well as racist comments about her Vietnamese-American heritage. This has caused her to develop symptoms of depression—insomnia, lack of appetite, and a loss of interest in her passions. She has also experienced anxiety-related symptoms—such as feeling on edge thinking about work, and weight loss.

As a result, she started looking for ways to turn things around by listening to motivational speeches, switching up exercise routines, and participating in weekly yoga classes. In the first few months, she found herself more able to perform daily tasks. She would wake up at 4 am to go for a run, shower, and have breakfast before arriving at work at 8:30 am. After work, she was so exhausted by the time she got home all she could do was sleep. As months passed, she found it harder and harder to keep up with the routine, until one day, she simply couldn’t bring herself to continue with all the “self-care”. Motivational speeches no longer had the same impact on her. She began to skip her workout. Instead, she spent a lot of her free time scrolling through other people’s vacation pictures on social media instead of spending time with her boyfriend.

Janet had tried her best to maintain her physical and mental health, but unfortunately, she was just too burned out. She assumed if she could keep an active lifestyle, she would be the picture of health, just like front page magazine models. Although strong-minded and capable of overcoming stressful environments, her chronic exhaustion and mental health struggles simply could not be overcome by the interventions she chose.

Arguably, the idea of an active lifestyle does create a condition of “being sound in body, mind, or spirit”, as the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it. The circumstances around Janet’s life create barriers to achieving health through physical fitness and positive thinking alone. What could be beneficial might be to examine and address workplace culture, isolation, and trauma. Positive mindsets, active lifestyles, diet makeovers, or financial trends should not be treated as a panacea for improving our health. What creates health for us will likely be unique to you.

Story #2:

Fred is a 67-year-old retired mechanic, husband, and father of two. He lives with his wife in St. George, Utah. A few years ago, he noticed some mild numbness in his feet. Since then his ailment escalated from moderate to intense daily pain in his lower limbs and hands due to a neurological condition. He now receives Social Security disability benefits. Not being able to work, his wife took a job at a local grocery store to cover financial necessities.

When Fred was younger, he enjoyed off-road trucking and fishing. After his neurological condition developed, he could no longer do either of those activities. He tried to fix things around the house, but he would be frustrated by his lack of fine motor control. His wife had been very understanding of his condition, and offered to take care of most things in the house reminding him that “you have taken care of me and the children for all my life, I don’t mind taking care of you.” However, his wife’s generosity and kindness seem to do nothing to lift Fred’s spirit. He could only manage a few hours of sleep every night, feeling tired in the day, and expressed feeling hopeless with an inability to feel joy. 

Lamenting his loss of abilities, Fred felt defeated and depressed. He sought help from psychiatry. The nurse practitioner prescribed him medications for sleep and depression, but Fred didn’t notice any marked improvements in his mood. He then brought his struggle to his pastor, who sympathized and revealed to Fred that he had an uncle who suffered from a similar condition, and challenged him to find ways to live life to the fullest despite his debilitating condition. Fred took that advice to heart and thought about it over the week and eventually told his wife, “I have probably got another ten to fifteen years to live. I can either live my life in misery and despair, or I can make the best of what I’ve got”.

Instead of staying isolated at home, he started to spend more time with his son and started meeting up with a retired friend regularly. Furthermore, with the medication, he found enough energy during the day to attend courses at a local community college and started working part-time at the local rec center. Fred felt like he could enjoy life again, and his wife was glad to see the change.

Health is Tailor-Made

In Janet’s case, her intervention didn’t work because she was not addressing the root of her issues. By spending more time creating an active lifestyle, she neglected the fact that her workplace was the cause of her depression. Alternatively with Fred, although he cannot change the fact that he has a chronic incurable condition, the root of his depression is based on his outlook of the world. By changing his outlook, he was able to find wellness in his life again.

 In Fred’s scenario, we can conclude his newfound health is generated by effective medication, a positive outlook, meaningful social interactions, proactive engagement in the community, and a willingness to receive support. However, what is more important is that he has defined what works for him. 

Fred’s personalized solution will not work for Janet because her needs are different. Fred’s priority is to create and build a structure that provides meaning and purpose in his life after developing a life-altering medical condition. Janet, on the other hand, prioritizes juggling an already very busy lifestyle, whilst trying to discover wellness within the complex folds of work culture, identity, and self-purpose. What Fred needs is to get out more, challenge his defeatist views, and rediscover joyful activities. What Janet needs is to reflect on her career and life goals, explore her identity, and find congruence between what she does, and who she is. There is no “one size fits all” solution to health. 

What’s your vision of health?

Maslow’s Hierarchy

In the 1940s, a psychologist named Abraham Maslow proposed a psychological theory about human needs. He made an illustration of a pyramid with five levels, with basic needs at the bottom, and more advanced needs toward the top. His idea is that we should move through the levels sequentially from bottom to top, starting with the most basic. What the diagram does not show is how to meet these needs. 

Take for example the statement, I am feeling lonely and also currently struggling to get my bills paid on time. My financial stress can overshadow my need for love and belonging. In order to achieve better mental health, I will need to first do something about my financial situation. Without prioritizing the more basic needs, trying to fix my needs for love and belonging will contribute little to my mental health. 

Exercise: Tailoring a Plan for Your Personal Health

1. Make a list of each category, from physiological needs to self-actualization needs. List what feels important to you, as well as which category creates the most distress. Refer to Maslow’s hierarchy for reference.

2. List barriers to achieving items on the lists. 

3. Use the SMART format for the top 5 items you would like to prioritize. SMART stands for:

4. Specific: Define what you would like to achieve in simple terms. 

   • “I will make time to contemplate and journal about how my workplace impacts my mental health”, but not “I will try to do something for my unhappiness”.

5. Measurable: Track your progress toward the goals you are setting for yourself.

   • “I will review the content of my journals and see if I sound closer to my goals”.

6. Achievable: Gauge whether your goal can be achieved with current restrictions and constraints. Modify your goal to become more achievable if needed. What may be achievable is based on good personal judgment and research.

   •  “I will start and complete a master's degree in one year” might not be possible due to constraints and restrictions in the school system. However, “I will apply and start my master’s program by next fall” may be more achievable. 

7. Relevant: Is your goal supportive of your health? 

   • If the goal is to make time for relaxation, “Restructuring my work schedule” may help, but “taking on an extra job in the hope of more money will resolve my issue”, will likely be less relevant.

8. Timely: Have a realistic deadline for goals. By doing this, we are not only more motivated to complete our goals, but it also helps us focus on our true priorities and requires us to consider what is achievable in a set time frame.

9. When you finish constructing a plan, set a date on when you are going to review your progress. If you haven’t progressed as much as planned, make revisions and try again.

Tips: 

• Start small: For some of us, it can be challenging to avoid self-blame. Try to start with small goals and focus on building momentum. 

  • For example, if my goal is to build a three-day-a-week exercise routine, perhaps I can set a goal of going for a leisure walk once a week, and keep at it before gradually stepping up to a two-or-three-day strenuous routine.

• Pair it with another routine: 

  • “Whenever I do chores, I will listen to informational mental health podcasts to educate myself on the subject matter.”

• Focus on the process: Even when we are setting goals for our health, that doesn’t mean we will have to wait. We can choose actions and activities that keep the process enjoyable before we hit our goals.

• Be flexible: Life happens, and there will always be unexpected barriers. Adjust your plan if necessary.

• Celebrate tiny victories: With any goals, we can get discouraged and burned out. It is important to not overlook our small victories.

• Recruit the support of accountability buddies: Doing things alone can be hard. See if you can find someone to keep you accountable. This person can help keep you on track, and they may even have the same goals as you.

• Recognizing setbacks is part of the journey: Practice self-compassion and recognize that in every hero’s journey, setbacks are inevitable. While we might have grown up in an environment where we were punished for failures, it’s important to notice how unfair that is, especially if we recognize behind every successful person are countless failures.

For more content, check out our podcast, and become even more psychologically savvy.

Sources and images:

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/health

https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

Disclaimer: Psychotherapy is a psychological service involving a client interacting with a mental health professional with the aim of assessing or improving the mental health of the client. Neither the contents of this blog, nor our podcast, is psychotherapy, or a substitute for psychotherapy. The contents of this blog may be triggering to some, so reader’s discretion is advised. If you think that any of my suggestions, ideas, or exercises mentioned in this blog are creating further distress, please discontinue reading, and seek a professional’s help.

Therapy Uncomplicated is a podcast that is meant to help people who feel alone and unsupported with their day to day struggles. We want to educate people on mental health and show it isn’t something to be afraid of. We provide the “whys” and the “hows” for a path to wellness. We are here to promote positive change by offering education and new perspectives that destroy stigmas in mental health, and encourage people to go to therapy.