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Blog #11 Focal Point - The Strength of Empathy - Why It Is Neither Weak Nor Dangerous.

  • Rex Tse
  • Apr 7
  • 7 min read



On January 21st, 2025, a day after the inauguration of Donald Trump, the Episcopal bishop of Washington D.C., Mariann Edgar Budde, led a prayer service at the National Cathedral. During her sermon, she asked for “mercy … to the gay, lesbian and transgender children in Democratic, Republican, and independent families, some who fear for their lives”. Further, she asked to extend mercy to “the people who pick our crops and clean our office buildings”, “labor in poultry farms and meat packing plants”, as well as people who “wash our dishes”, and “work night shifts in hospitals”, (Washington National Cathedral, 2025). The responses from political conservatives were criticizing and disdaining. Georgia representative Mike Collins suggested the bishop “should be added to the deportation list”, (The Hill, 2025). Evangelical Pastor Robert Jeffress posted on Facebook that the bishop “insulted rather than encouraged our great president”, (Jeffress, 2025). 


From the point of view of a mental health professional like myself, this propagated segment is particularly dangerous—the idea of empathy being a problem, rather than a solution to our world. An article from Religion News, (2025), spoke about the different voices in the Christian ministry community on this topic and discussed the phenomenon of how “claims that mercy or empathy is sinful”. Other news media echoed shock and disapproval of what they found on social media, such as accusing the bishop of committing “the sins of empathy”, (Daily Kos 2025), (movement.org.uk, 2025). In particular, the book, The Sin of Empathy, by Joe Rigney, was mentioned on those two sites.


The idea of branding empathy as “bad” flies against real-world observations many of us healthcare professionals have made. In an interview with the author of the book, Rigney states that empathy is dangerous because it can become a tool of emotional manipulation preying on soft-hearted people, and how empathy is an artificial ideology, (Albert Mohler, 2025). In this post, I’d like to share some information about the phenomenon of empathy and argue that empathy is an inseparable part of the human experience, and is a vital component for achieving safety and wellness.



What is Empathy?


Empathy is the ability to recognize, understand, and share thoughts and feelings of others. It allows us to create a sense of connection and mutual understanding. It can either be feeling someone else's emotion through directly perceiving their feelings, or picturing ourselves in their situations.


Esther Perel coined "Into-me-see" in the context of intimacy. To be close is to understand the emotions of others.


Example 1:

While having lunch in a park, you see a kid with a razor scooter passing by. He starts to lose control when going down a gentle decline the scooter moves out of his control and swings around and hits him in the shin. He cries out in pain. Imagining what that pain feels like is empathy.


Example 2:


You are at the coffee shop, when you realize you are a quarter short. You looked behind you seeing a long line, and you started to frantically search, but can’t find any change. An old man behind you offered to cover the 25 cents for your coffee. You expressed gratitude and struck up small talk after paying the barista. The man mentioned that ever since he was disabled by his military tour in Vietnam, he lost almost everything, but still believes in being a good person to everyone he comes in contact with. Listening to his story, you felt sadness and respect for this old veteran.



Empathy From the Point Of View of Communication


In the last post, Loneliness Part 3, we discussed the idea of communication between the mother and her infant. When the mother can mirror the emotions of her baby, a connection is made, and as a result, both the mother and the child feel soothed. These moments of empathy act as a form of communication to ensure the mother tends to her child, and the child secures the attention of its mother. Outside of the context of early childhood development, we adults still use empathy to communicate:


Scenario 1 - To communicate care: You meet a friend who has recently experienced grief. As you are talking to them, you can tell they are very distraught, and it makes you feel sad as well. Being able to relate to their struggle, you let them know you are there with them in your own way. As a result, your friend feels less lonely.


Scenario 2 - To communicate social context: You encounter a circle of coworkers as you enter the breakroom, and you see them engaging in lively joyful banter. You immediately recognize the lighthearted atmosphere and their liveliness infects you. Whether you love or hate their energy, it will influence how you interact with them. 


Scenario 3 - To communicate understanding: You see a clock at a store during the holidays and decide that it will be a good addition to a coworker’s cubicle. You decide to buy it as part of the gift exchange social function at work. When your coworker opened the gift, you watched on with anticipation hoping they would be delighted. However, as much as your coworker smiled and expressed gratitude, you also noticed an expression of confusion. Their confused expression makes you feel unsure, and so you decide to strike up a conversation with them afterward. You find out that in their culture, receiving a clock signifies mortality and death. Although a bit awkward, this interaction acts as an ice breaker for you getting to know them more.



In all three scenarios listed, a lack of empathy might result in miscommunication. In the first scenario, if we cannot deeply understand the sadness your friend is feeling, it might create a misunderstanding where you could be seen as uncaring or self-centered, thus putting a rift in the friendship. In scenario 2, not understanding the social context in the group might result in awkward interactions. In the last scenario, missing the cues for the accidental misunderstanding might lead to uneasy social dynamics in the future. Being empathetic serves important communication functions—It is not about being “soft-hearted”. It can impact how we interact with each other, and create real consequences for ourselves and others.



Empathy As a Biologically Wired Mechanism


The American Psychological Association acknowledges that mirror neurons have empirical findings. (APA, 2005).


In contrast to the idea that empathy is an artificial construct, there are numerous studies that point to a biological origin, with a strong consensus in the field of psychology. In 2008, Marco Iacobini, a neuroscientist at UCLA published the book called Mirroring People: The New Science of How We Connect with Others. It explains the findings on “mirror neurons”—brain cells that activate when both people are performing the same action. This phenomenon allows us to understand the other person’s experience though experiencing the same emotions as ourselves. 


We mirror others in order to communicate with them.
Empathy is inside us all, no relation to the ECS, though.

Another function of mirror neurons is imitation. Have you ever felt like yawning the moment you see someone else yawn? Have you ever felt sleepy when you enter a room full of bored people? Have you ever felt positive feelings for someone who shows romantic interest in you? Has your mood ever been influenced by music lyrics or movie scenes? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you have experienced the activation of your mirror neurons, which leads to functions such as empathy.



The Real Concern Relating to Empathy


Empathy allows us to understand each other, and foster bonding. However, there are sometimes real concerns about this strength. A review paper in Development and Psychopathology, described empathy as a “Risky Strength”, pointing to how empathy, though “typically associated with resilience and mental health”, can lead to some increased risk of “empathic personal distress and interpersonal guilt”, (Tone E. B., Tully E. C., 2014).  


As much as empathy may create personal burdens, we have to consider its important role in human development, interaction, and emotional wellness. To discredit empathy as a “sin”, is like the idiom “tossing the baby out with the bath water”. When we distance ourselves from our innate ability to connect and communicate, we lose our emotional wellness, as well as our leverage to create social cohesion. As a whole, empathy is still seen as a strength, (APA, 2021), a far cry from the sinister depiction of empathy being a dangerous pitfall.



The Grand Achievements of Empathy


If we are aiming to improve our personal happiness and our relationships with others, we should strive to be more empathetic. Even though “putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes” might be difficult, understanding others will ultimately create better relationships. In the previous post, I stressed the importance of creating healthy social interactions to safeguard ourselves from loneliness, isolation, and pain—Empathy can facilitate that. On the other hand, ignoring and turning away from understanding and honoring other’s emotions and experiences might lead us to be numb of other’s pain and suffering. In turn, this makes us feel more isolated, lonely, and distrustful. As a mental health professional, I urge everyone to protect their innate empathy within and extend kindness to the people around us. It might just be what it takes to keep us sane.


emotional communications build community strength.


Sources:



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Disclaimer: Psychotherapy is a psychological service involving a client interacting with a mental health professional with the aim of assessing or improving the mental health of the client. Neither the contents of this blog, nor our podcast, is psychotherapy, or a substitute for psychotherapy. The contents of this blog may be triggering to some, so reader’s discretion is advised. If you think that any of my suggestions, ideas, or exercises mentioned in this blog are creating further distress, please discontinue reading, and seek a professional’s help.


Therapy Uncomplicated is a podcast that is meant to help people who feel alone and unsupported with their day to day struggles. We want to educate people on mental health and show it isn’t something to be afraid of. We provide the “whys” and the “hows” for a path to wellness. We are here to promote positive change by offering education and new perspectives that destroy stigmas in mental health, and encourage people to go to therapy.


 
 
 

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